Directed by: Alan Wood
Written by: Alan Wood
Genre: Comedy / Horror
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Life's A Bitch And Then One Kills You
Alan Wood wants you to see a witch. His feature length film Life's A Bitch And Then One Kills You, from this moment titled simply LAB for this review, brings a modern day spell caster to a screen near you. Not one of those green faced hags with long noses you'll likely see around Halloween, but instead a normal looking woman living like most of us do. At first.
Anna ( Dana Weddell ) is about to perform her annual human sacrifice as we see through the movies to the point beginning. Looking at some dude bounded to a chair with a sack around his head right off the bat is pretty cool; but the quick switches to Anna dancing around her kitchen eating a birthday cupcake makes it even cooler. Very quickly, through text messages we find out what's happening and also that Anna isn't the only witch.
After a brief conversation with Chase ( Kevin Nelson ) as he sits bound to a chair, we learn that he is the victim of a Tinder date gone terribly wrong. Strangely, he doesn't at first seem to realize the danger he's in. That quickly changes. It's not long after we find out Anna is about ready to finish the business of the night; murder Chase and cement another brief period of immortality in her nice youthful body. Then the worst happens. She hears people at the door.
No problem, she'll just quickly get rid of them and get back to it only... it's not some random salesman at her door. It's her work colleagues and armed with booze and cake, they're there to party and use the bathroom, and won't take a rain check. After attempting to divert her unwanted guests Anna finally concedes to a quick drink and piece of cake. What harm could come if they're in and out fast?
As I'm sure you could have guessed, things don't go as planned. Her work mates are nosy, annoying and really quite stupid most of the time. Even when confronted with a bound and gagged man with blood all over him, Anna convinces them (most of them) that it's a sex thing. The rest of the film is devoted to their below average intelligence as Anna guides them here and there, and the final reveal when they find out exactly what's going on. But it doesn't end there. After locking them inside, through a spell, Anna quickly shifts gears attempting to get their help. All the world is potentially at risk if she doesn't complete her sacrifice.
I won't reveal the rest, and have left our some key parts because if you like comedy/horror movies, you should just watch it yourself. But be warned: this isn't a lightning quick gore -o- coaster of a film. It's a slower, more deliberately paced title. Not a lot of special effects or body gore effects, until the ending. That's when everything comes out and LAB hides away some surprisingly great makeup effects for a micro budget indie.
LAB is surprisingly funny. Much funnier than it probably should have been. Not outright LOL funny, but enough to keep you smiling throughout. I attribute this to the work of the cast. Had their characters been cast differently, this could have been not funny at all. It's all very tongue in cheek and designed around the whole understanding at the workplace thing, and the obvious sexual workplace issues ramped up ten fold. Even when confronted with overwhelming evidence of Anna's murderous plans, these characters still stick to their work ethic and try and deny it. It's pretty funny to watch even if you know it would never happen that way.
The final scenes in the film where things get crazy make the slower build up worth it. But it's even hard to say LAB was a slow build film, because it manages to keep you giggling. You just have to understand what it is you're watching. Much like the slow build presented in the film The Dead Don't Die. If this is your bag of marbles you'll feel right at home here. For those who enjoy the obvious being lost on imbeciles; that are kind of likable. Or the inclusion of a lot of teenage humor, LAB will be a must see for you. A little of the same. A little of the different and a whole lot of fun.